Friday, July 20, 2007

Happy Birthday, Gisele! Love, Bridget

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With all the hoopla over England's original WAG moving to the States, I started thinking about who is the ultimate WAG. Some candidates that came to mind were:
However, the one that superseded all other contenders in all other sports and raised the bar for future WAGs everywhere is none other than the outwardly wholesome Bridget Moynahan. The Queen Bee, as she will now be known, not only announced she was pregnant by her previously untarnished golden boy ex-boyfriend soon after he started dating the world's richest model, but she also retained her virtuous image and made him look like the bad guy for wanting to date the ultimate male fantasy. But the topper, the ultimate FUCK YOU to both Tom and Gisele...Her baby is due today, Gisele's birthday. You think that might cause a little rift between a couple? Jennifer Aniston is somewhere crying about how Bridget got all the karma in the world.

So let's check the scoreboard here:
  • Bridget got the baby she always wanted, fathered by the guy she wanted, and she managed to look like the victim in the process.
  • Tom got the supermodel he wanted, but forever shattered his perfect image. Forget his future political aspirations, his current image is what he needs to be thinking about. I'm sure Boston fans would have wholeheartedly forgiven him his baby-mama drama and welcomed him back with open arms, but...BUT...he wore a Yankees cap!!!!!!!! In public!!!!!!!! Yet another point for Bridget as Tom has seemingly lost his mind.
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All Bridget needs to do is write a hit song about this and she'll be on par with Justin Timberlake on Bill Simmons's Vengeance Scale. So while we ponder Tom's once providential fate - seriously, Tom, what's going on with you?!?!? - we can only lift our glasses to the Queen as she awaits the arrival of her son on Gisele's birthday.

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