Saturday, January 31, 2009

Reasons #476 and 477 Why I Love Shaq

#476. He Twitters and calls other people who Twitter "Twittereans" and "Twitter bugs."

#476a. He keeps trying to get Steve Nash to join Twitter.

#477. I LOVE True Blood. Love it, love it, love it. And the fact that Shaq is from Bon Temps, home to vampires, shape shifters, and Lafayette, just adds to his mystique.

Note on True Blood: I know it's totally annoying when someone says "You MUST watch this show!" so I'm not going to do that. Instead, I'm just gonna say you MUST watch this scene. This is why Lafayette Reynolds is my favorite character on any show right now.

Only in LA

I was at the dealership last week getting my car serviced (and getting raped in the ass with service charges in the process, but that's neither here nor there) when a clip of Alonzo Mourning's retirement press conference came on. A woman walking by glanced at the TV and then stopped dead in her tracks. "What's going on?! Who died?" she asked. I looked at her curiously and said, "What are you talking about? No one died." Then she goes, "Why is he mourning?" As calmly as I could manage without laughing in her face, I let her know, "Because that's his name." Jesus.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Cristiano Ronaldo + Matt Leinart =

Fernando Verdasco

Back to Blogging

Even though there have been some fantastic games since the season started, I just haven't been in the mood to blog. I don't know whether it was basketball ennui or blogging ennui. All I know is that I was totally over Lebron and his crab dribble and his will-I-or-won't-I-go-to-New-York, and since the League has become Lebron-centric, my lack of enthusiasm for The Chosen One spread to my feelings about the NBA in general. Rather than blogging if something cool happened or a good game was on, I GOOP'd it and texted or emailed my friends instead.

Then, a few nights ago, I was at Borders minding my own business and reading the latest Sports Illustrated. And no, I don't think Peyton is that funny except when he's losing to the Chargers. Haha. These two girls sat down near me and started talking loudly. I tuned them out for the most part, but then I heard one of them say "Tim Duncan." Curiosity got the better of me since most LA girls talk about Kobe or Luke. Despite their horribly bleached hair, I thought about my resolution to be less judgmental and listened in. (It's not eavesdropping if they're talking at full volume in a public place.) Well, Tweedledee proceeded to tell Tweedledum about how "Tim Duncan sucks." As if that wasn't bad enough, she started in on Manu Ginobili - pronounced with a hard G - and how "he sucks too and is sooooooooooo terrible and I just don't understand his hair." Well, that did it. I whipped out my phone and started GOOPing my friends. As I was transcribing the conversation as succintly as possible (OMG dumbass bitch @ Borders talkin shit bout Timmy n Manu..can't even pronounce Ginobili), Tweedledee upped the ante by saying, "I'm soooooo excited about Nate Robinson being in the dunk contest! He's sooooooo good. It's gonna be sooooooo good. He's, like, the best dunker ever." At this point, I think I dropped my phone and just started staring at them openmouthed. I recovered, picked up my phone, and blitzkrieged my friends with even more texts. This chick has nothing on me. Finally, after the 5th text in a 30 second span, I got a text from my cousin. "Can you please start blogging again. I don't care about your precious Timmy or Manu and I don't even know who Nate Robinson is. If not Lakers, I don't care."

This is why family is so important. I accidentally texted some people who don't know a basketball from a football, and they responded with a polite "That sucks, Mags" or "Yeah....who doesn't know how to pronounce Ginobili." But family, those bastards tell you like it is. So here I am with renewed vigor. Plus, I just got a BlackBerry so I'm no longer standing in shame when I pull out my phone and the 12-year-old next to me has a way better one. Therefore, for the sake of my dear family and friends (and to play with my new toy), NBA's Finest is back.

Random note: I'm babysitting my friend's adorable 6-month-old right now so Mommy and Daddy don't lose their minds, and Adele is baby crack. She started fussing when she woke up and realized her mom wasn't here, but the minute I turned on Adele, bam! Head down, back to sleep. It's crazy. Now I can put away the Nyquil.

Mailing It In

Now I'm testing to make sure I can email pictures to the blog. Bear with me.

By the way, I kick ass at Toy Story Mania.

Blogging from a BlackBerry

Just testing to see if this will work and thus give me no more excuse not to blog.

Reason #475 Why I Love Shaq

Look at that entrance. Who else but Shaqovic could pull that off? And look how happy everyone, especially Robin Lopez, looks to be carrying him. You can watch the clip at the beginning of last night's Inside the NBA here. Miss you, Charles!!

Rafael Nadal Won't Let Me Sleep

I was all set to go to bed at 2am, a very reasonable hour for me, and then I made the mistake on turning on ESPN2. I was just going to check the score at the Australian Open, assuming Nadal would be taking care of business as usual, but no. He was losing to someone I've never even heard of before, something Verdasco. Now TWO hours later (they've been playing for over 3), they're tied with a set each playing a tiebreak for the 3rd set. And of course now I'm totally riveted and can't stop watching which means I'll have insomnia for the next 3 days. All this for someone who wears capri pants. And he's not even playing Federer!

Update: Rafa just won the tiebreak. He's up 2 sets to 1. I'm going to bed. Good night.

Update #2: Fuck me I'm totally not going to sleep tonight. Do I even like tennis that much? Actually, I love the rivalry between Federer and Nadal. C'mon Verdasco...pull a Djokovic and retire so I can get some sleep!!

Update #3: Verdasco's name is Fernando and he kind of looks like Cristiano Ronaldo. Actually, he's more a mix of Ronaldo and Matt Leinart. Weird. To top it off, he's wearing a puke green shirt. Whatever, Michelle Obama. And now he's up in the 4th. Kill me.

Update #4: Holy hell. It's now 5am and if Leinardo wins this tiebreak, they're going to a 5th set! They've been playing for 4 hours and 13 minutes and Rafa still looks like he could run a marathon afterward. Nope, spoke too soon. He's down 0-3 in the tiebreak. C'mon Rafa! Despite Verdasco's effort, now that I get the Matt Leinart vibe from him, I can't cheer for him in the slightest. Sorry, Cardinal fans but I don't think you're cheering for him either at this point. Fuckity fuck Verdasco's one point away from a 5th set.

Update #5: 5th set. Why. Why did I have to turn on ESPN2.

Update #6: So I decided to Google Fernando Verdasco to find out more about the man keeping me up and...gross. This just goes to show: ladies, whenever you get the Matt Leinart vibe from a guy, trust your instincts and run the other way!

Update #7: Both Nadal and Verdasco are left-handed. I've always wanted to be a leftie.

Update #8: Goddamn! The men's final is Saturday night-Sunday morning before the Super Bowl. Basically, I won't sleep til Monday.

Update #9: 2-2.

Update #10: Have you ever tried Nocilla? It's the Spanish version of Nutella but they have a white chocolate version too. It's amazing. I would totally trade Pau Gasol for one jar of Nocilla Duo. Wait a sec. (Lightbulb going off.) Maybe that's what the Lakers really gave Chris Wallace for Pau.

Update #11: 3-3. Match nearing 5 hours.

Update #12: Possible break point for Nadal. C'mon Rafa!!! And.....of course not because this game will last forever. Another chance for break point. Nope. Game Verdasco. 4-4. Kill meeeeeee.

Update #13: Triple match point for Nadal. Don't believe it. Yup, Verdasco pulled it out. Double match point for Nadal. Nope. Match point. What the hell...the match just ended on a double fault. Are you kidding me??????? 5+ hours and the match ends on a double fault at 6:10am. I hate my life. Good night morning.