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Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Don't Leave Me, Don't Leave Me


Crazy ol' Roscoe. What a character. Between his perfectly circular bald spot and his on-court theatrics, how has he not been immortalized in cartoon yet?? Think about it...forget Thirst, or whatever that Lil' Penny Sprite knockoff is...how about "The Adventures of Lil' Sheed."


Episode I: Lil' Sheed Goes to School
When the teacher gives him a warning for talking back during class, Lil' Sheed throws up his arms and stamps his feet until he's thrown out of class and sent to the principal's office.

In the next episode, Lil' Sheed frustrates the school reporters covering the Academic Decathlon by answering every question with "Both teams played hard."

How could you not love Rasheed Wallace -- Portland fans, you are excused from answering this question and really, those kinds of words are unnecessary. In all seriousness, I really do like Sheed because I don't think he's fronting...what you see is what you get. He's not posing to help his street cred and sell some shoes (ahem, Kobe). He's also not trying to fit into some pre-packaged, league-approved image. He has a real personality, flaws and all. I think he's one of the most dynamic people in the league.

And really, I don't see him as being all that different from Tim Duncan. Timmy is who he is, which is really shy and understated, and he's not going to change that to become a name-brand, Bentley-driving superstar no matter how much John Thompson badgers him. He does his thing just like Sheed does his thing and from what I hear, teammates and coaches love them. Ahh, maybe I'll have an installment of Lil' Sheed and Lil' Timmy. It'll be like Jay and Silent Bob minus the homoerotic overtones.

1 comment:

Courtside said...

Note to B (and everyone else who, like my cousin, don't live in the Wonderful World of Sheed):

"Don't leave me, don't leave me" refers to Game 7 vs. the Heat. Rasheed was being guarded by Udonis Haslem, who then left him to help double someone else, thus leaving Sheed with a wide-open 3. After hitting the 3, Sheed jogged back up court taunting poor Udonis with "don't leave me, don't leave me."

"Both teams played hard" refers back to his good ol' Blazer days. In the 2003 playoffs when the Blazers were playing the Mavs (that's in Dallas, B), Rasheed's answer to EVERY post-game question was "Both teams played hard." "Both teams played hard." "Both teams played hard." Then he capped it off with a "Both teams played hard. God bless and good night."

After he won the championship with the Pistons, he got his ring re-sized to fit his middle finger. When he went back to Portland to play his old team, he made sure to "get that thing buffed up and shined real good and just flash it off to all of them out there for all those people who said I was a cancer." He then kept his hand on the face for the duration of the post-game interview.

Only Sheed.