Where My Dog At

So about a month ago, my Mom calls me up and is like, "Hey, do you want a dog???" My answer was an emphatic Hell NO! followed by more hell no's since my mother doesn't always listen to what I say the first time around. After the fifth no, I thought the message got through.

The next day, she calls again and is like, "Are you sure??? It's a poodle!" Again, I reiterated, "No, Mom! No dogs!! I don't need to be cleaning up after some little, yappy poodle." She said, "It's 7-years-old and already trained!" "Well," I told her, "I don't need to be looking after an old, yappy dog either!"

Words falling on deaf ears. Two days later, she brought the dog home. Ungroomed. Apparently, one of her clients was going abroad for the holidays for at least a month so she agreed to take the dog for the duration. Now I don't hate dogs, I just don't actively like them. (Or so I thought.) The first few days with the dog, Jenny, I washed my hands each time after I touched her. When she jumped on my bed and sat on my pillow, I freaked out and washed all my sheets. Did I mention she was ungroomed and a little smelly and I'm a slight germaphobe? When I told my friends about the dog, they thought it was hilarious but were outraged that the dog was named Jenny. Apparently, there's an unwritten rule that you don't give dogs real names, or so said the owners of Stinky and Otto. I was like, "Whatever, it's not even my dog."

A week later, my Mom tells me she's going away for the weekend so I need to watch the dog. Well, as my cousin said, my small heart grew three sizes that weekend. The dog has separation anxiety and can't be left alone, so she ended up sticking by my side for 72 hours. She even slept with me in my bed. After that, no more washing my hands every 2 minutes or washing my sheets. I'm such a girl - after sleeping with someone, it's I love you! So yeah, I took her to the groomer and got her a new outfit so she's all spiffy now. I've also renamed her, according to the Angelina rules.

Now I'm showing off the newest member of my family, Bubble. Isn't she cuuuuuuuute??? She's the sweetest little thing, too. We're totally bonded. When I was carrying my friend's baby, she cried until I put the baby down and held her instead. She even fell asleep on my shoulder like a baby!

So this is my plan for keeping Bubble. One - put a microchip in her with my name and address, so if she's taken away, I can pull an Iggy and call the police and say she's mine. Two - dye her black so if and when the abandoner/previous owner comes back, I can just be like, "What are you talking about? This is my dog!" Three - let the dog choose. I have full confidence she'll come to me. Hopefully, it won't come to all that. If I know my mother, she probably already agreed to keep the dog and said it was only temporary to placate me. We'll see.