Oh Avery

From now on, anything that Avery Johnson does throughout his career I'm watching. I don't care if he's coaching the Mavs out of the playoffs or opening up a car wash. So long as it's on TV and there's a 5% chance he'll hit the deck, a 35% chance that he'll "just go crazy," and a 60% chance he'll actually throttle Erick Dampier - I'm there. Avery, you have officially taken over Don Nelson's spot as my 2nd favorite coach. (Pop is still #1.)

For those of you who didn't watch the Mavs-Suns game - which if you didn't, you crazy - around the 3 minute mark of the 3rd quarter, the Suns were running the ball up after getting away with another foul on Dirk* and you suddenly see this figure go down on the left side of the court in a fit of flailing arms and legs. It's Avery! Is he trying to trip up the ref? Is he so mad about the non-call that he's resorted to kicking and screaming on the floor? No no, Avery explained in the post-game interview that he was just trying to play a little defense. Oh Avery. This is the lesson that all girls learn in 7th grade: always remember to scuff up your heels so you don't fall on your ass in front of the cutest boy in the world, or in Avery's case, a national audience. Luckily for him, ratings are down AND a new episode of "The Bachelor" was on so only a couple million people were watching.

*You crazy, or just Robert Sarver, if you think they didn't. Dirk only got to the line once, ONCE. Even Peja, who develops an allergy to the paint and the basket come May, got to the line more than that against the Sonics.