Breaking News at Mexico vs Venezuela

The rim has fallen down! Nick Collison trying to take credit. Leo Rautins complaining about the extra warm up time for Mexico and Venezuela.

Update: The rim is back up. Horacio Llamas is testing its tensile strength as the crowd of tens looks on with bated breath. It has survived the Llamas test.

More bad news. The rim is not to regulation height. It's a half inch too short. Current time: 1:48pm. "Crowd" looks even more bored than usual. Team USA's 9pm start time may be further delayed.

1:55pm - Audience officially asleep. No, seriously. The one girl they keep showing in the stands is sleeping. Rick Kamla and partner trying to do their best to keep us entertained. FYI Kamla's wife does not like that he's not more of a handyman. Mercifully, NBA TV has decided to run the Amare Stoudemire halftime feature from last night's game.

1:59pm - Looks like the game may actually start. Another clip of the rim coming down. A portly hand with a white wristband is shown pulling at the net moments before the fall. Horacio may have been involved! Kamla just referred to this whole situation as "Rimgate." Hehe.

2pm - Tip off.

Canada vs Mexico!

Watch Horacio NOW! If you wait, more than likely he'll have already been taken out of the game, so watch now!

Update:

• Llamas just scored. The announcer mentioned he did this despite his "gravity problem."
• Levon Kendall is looking good. And he's playing well too.
• Kendall was a child actor???
• Yup, he has an IMDB page. He was in Air Bud as "Additional Basketball Player."
• Leo Rautins looks like he has a black eye. Not surprising. He's like the Mark Cuban of FIBA Americas. The officials must love him.
  

Watch Horacio!

Also watch for Levon Kendall of Canada, who is the spitting image of Tiago Splitter. Levon's so pretty I keep waiting for Billy King to draft him on the spot. Otherwise, Levon better run if Horacio gets hungry.





Update: Oops! Mexico vs Canada is not til Wednesday. Today (Tuesday), Mexico plays Brazil at 5:30pm on NBA TV. Canada is playing Argentina at 3pm on NBA TV and FSN. My bad. Here's the new post-it.

Photo Source: FIBA Americas

Close(r) Call for Team USA

Team USA beat Mexico 127-100. It's the closest margin of victory thus far for the Americans. An impressive victory nonetheless, that is, until you see who anchored, literally, Team Mexico. To your right is the starting center for Mexico, Horacio Llamas. According to Wikipedia, he's "the best center Mexico has ever produced." To me, he's more of a (Kings era) Vlade Divac / (any era) Eddy Curry hybrid. At least we can take comfort in knowing that Argentina, the only other undefeated team, only beat Mexico by 21 points.

You gotta give him style points though. Look at him rockin the two-toned sweatband, the black tights, and the white knee socks. Less (we see) is definitely more (to our benefit).

Update: Lang Whitaker describes Horacio as having " the body of John Goodman and the style sense of Turtle from 'Entourage.'" (I don't watch Entourage, but I can only assume a 'Turtle' isn't very attractive.) Also, those aren't Dwyane Wade-style tights, but rather kneepads. Oh Horacio.

I'm just going to copy and paste some of Lang's other observations about Horacio here because they're hilarious, but to read them in full, click HERE.

• On a lot plays, Llamas just ends up standing still as everyone runs past him in either direction.
• Lamas takes a dribble to his right, then tries to go behind the back with a dribble. This confuses his own body so much that he ends up falling over onto his butt and turning it over. Nolan Richardson takes him out.
• USA lobs it inside to Howard and Llamas just grabs him. If a chair had magically appeared on the court at that moment, Llamas would have immediately taken a seat. The man is completely exhausted.
• Llamas!! I think he just polished off a pizza and large order of nachos while on the bench.
• Kobe drives and Llamas swats the shot! That’s what a rested Llamas brings to the game.
• After 90 seconds, Llamas is removed from the game, totally gassed.

Photo Source: FIBA Americas