Cool Dad #3: Pimp Daddy Nash

When Steve Nash was named MVP around Mother's Day, Cheryl Miller interviewed his parents and asked his dad what he could possibly get for Father's Day that would top the MVP award. John Nash replied, "I'll take the Rolex and the Lamborghini." What a pimp! Wanna know how Steve won the MVP? He watched his dad and learned how to charm the hell out of everyone.

Cool Dad #2: Mr. Flash

DWade with his son, Zaire, who's already mastered Daddy's staredown.

Happy Father's Day

There's nothing more endearing than seeing the baddest, toughest motherf...ers on the court turn into the biggest, softest teddy bears around their children. Who'd have thought - Rasheed Wallace, teddy bear at heart and symbol of paternal responsibility. That's a M-A-N, baby!

Behind Every Great Man...

Is a woman threatening to withhold food unless he starts playing better.


As reported on by the illustrious Stuart Scott, Mrs. Chanda Wallace told her 6'9", 240-pound husband before Game 3, "'Let your hair down and go out there and play some basketball, or else you can't eat." Proving once and for all that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, Big Ben responded in Game 3 with 15 points, 11 boards, and 5 blocks and in Game 4 with 11 points, 13 boards, 3 blocks and 3 steals.

When he won the Defensive Player of the Year award this year, Ben said, "I want to thank my wife (Chanda) for letting me come home last year after I didn't win it."

Chanda Wallace, you are awesome!
Jackie Christie, this is what not-crazy looks like.

Game 4: Eva but No Tony

Eva: "Look, Frenchie, I said I wanted three rings!"

Major props to Eva Longoria for showing up in Detroit like she's Jack Nicholson. However, if she could only get her boyfriend to do the same.

Meanwhile, I love how the so-called "absolute nastiest fans" in the league (according to Stan Van Gundy) had nothing but love for Eva...


...while their hometown boy, Kid Rock, faced some hecklers.

Darko State of Mind

How jealous must Darko be of Beno Udrih right now?

In his first year, Beno's averaging more minutes in the playoffs than all of Darko's minutes combined for the past 2 seasons! Plus, Beno actually gets to play when the game matters (as we all witnessed to disastrous effect in Game 3). And even though Beno kept giving the ball to Chauncey, he still got 7 minutes on Tuesday and you know he's going to get some minutes tonight. Meanwhile, maybe Elden will teach Darko how to play PSP while they're chillin tonight.

Once a Mama's Boy, Always a Mama's Boy

Elden Campbell must be what, 40, 45 years old? Yet there he was mouthing "Hi Mama" to the camera during his introduction before Game 3. How cute is that?

Speaking of Elden (how often do you hear that), here are some fun facts:

1. He has a son named Jayle and a daughter named Jael.
I don't know why either.

2. He's teaching Tayshaun Prince how to play PSP.
At first, I was like how the hell does Elden's old ass know how to play PSP and Tayshaun doesn't?! Then, Mike reminded me, "Because he's on the bench all the time!!"

I still love you, Elden...15 years and counting.

For the Ladies: Eminem

You boys get Eva Longoria...We get Eminem.

But what is he doing behind the Spurs bench? Scaring Rasho into going 0-10 instead of just 0-5? How do you even explain an Eminem to someone like Rasho? In our country, some white boys grow up to be black. Kind of like Michael Jackson in reverse. No, no Kid Rock is just considered white trash.

Mark Cuban, Ya Cheap Bastard!

When he's not trying to pimp out his players' threads, he's trying to pimp out his fan base.

I previously mentioned that I thought the Suns and the Pistons had the best team websites this year. One of the reasons being they have a lot of pictures, both on and off the court, like the one of Jim Jackson reading and this one of Steve Nash napping on the plane.
By the way, how is that position remotely comfortable? His back must really be fuuuuuuucked up.

Anyway, on the Mavs website, there's a new section called "Take Yourself Behind-The-Scenes!" where you can see "never-before-seen photos of Mavs players and fans" etc etc. Unfortunately, the "scrapbook" is mainly one-inch thumbnails of various fans and random objects with "Mavs" emblazoned on it. There are some shots of actual players doing behind-the-scenes type things - like Marquis Daniels getting his hair done - but if you want to see them, it's straight cash, homey. If you click on the thumbnail to enlarge the picture, you just get a picture with "PROOF" stamped across the middle. To see the actual picture, it's $5.00 for 4x6 and $10.00 for 5x7. What in the name of Disneyland is this bullshit? At least Tinkerbell flies into your picture at Disneyland.

By the way, in other Mavs bullshit, under the "Behind-The-Scenes!" headline, there's one that says "Finley and Nowitzki have successful offseason surgeries." I, not realizing that mavs.com ascribes to the Fox News theory of reporting, got all concerned that Dirk had a surgery-requiring injury I didn't know about until I clicked on the link and realized it was a fucking dental procedure. Goddamn Mavs. Oh and I wasn't trying to play Fin like Nick Lachey and only acknowledge the blonde at his side. Everyone already knew he was going to have off-season surgery, whereas I was surprised that Dirk needed one, too.

Game 3: Crazy Ass Stuart Scott

We've had a lot of ridiculous moments during this series. Some off the top of my head include:
-> Suddenly switching to the French feed in the middle of the game
-> Actually listing all 140 languages in which the game was being broadcast
-> Alanis Morissette
-> Beno Udrih's play in Game 3
Etc.

And then there's Stuart Scott's postgame interview with Antonio McDyess.

It all began as a meaningless sideline report during the game. Apparently when Eva Longoria isn't there to give Michelle Tafoya "strict instructions" on how to do her job (as in Game 2), the storyline of the day becomes "Who's quieter: Tayshaun Prince or Antonio McDyess?" Tafoya reported that Tayshaun said Antonio and Antonio said Tayshaun. But wait, it doesn't end there. Right after the game, Stu corralled Dyess and asked not how it felt to come back from 3 knee surgeries and thinking his playing days were over to coming off the bench in his first Finals appearance in 10 seasons and scoring 12 key points, but instead asked Dyess to clarify who was quieter, him or Tayshaun. When Dyess obliged and said "Tayshaun Prince" our intrepid reporter then challenged him to "Yell it! Yell it!"

I guess since the brawl, cock fights in the NBA have been replaced with tests of verbal fortitude. Either that or Stuart Scott has lost his fucking mind. I'm going with the latter.