Season's Greetings

Yeeeeeeah!!

-T minus 1 hour til tip-off-

Charles vs. Kenny
Nuggets vs. Spurs
Mavs vs. Suns

I know everyone's been talking about the dress code with an eye on AI as the first dress code violator. I'm leaning more towards Timmy or Steve Nash. Imagine, the two most docile, least likely to rock the boat David Stern posterboys suddenly becoming rebels with a cause -- Timmy starts wearing more bling than Mr. T and Nash starts rocking a wave cap to hold back his ever-growing hair. Can't wait, baby!!

Yay Yuta!

The Clippers signed the Japanese Earl Boykins, aka Yuta Tabuse. This should be fun. Have you seen the clip from "Year of the Yao" where Cuttino Mobley tries to explain soul food to Yao? It'll be interesting to see what pearls of wisdom Cat passes along to Yuta this season. C'mon NBA TV, follow the Year of the Yuta! With Yuta, Cuttino, Sam 'The Mouth' Cassell, and the two crazy Chrises - Kaman and Wilcox - you're talking ratings gold here!

Bravo

Sir Charles got last night's Hurricane Relief Game rolling by declaring, "We can go a day without 10 episodes of Law and Order." Major props to the NBA, TNT, Kenny Smith and everyone involved for doing a hell of a lot more than the people already profiting from Katrina. In addition to the game last night, players and teams have been helping out all week long.

Avery worked the reporters...

while Jeff van Gundy worked the crowd with his bright red hat.

You gotta love Amare's shirt.

Notice the kid's nervous smile. It's nice seeing Ron Ron back in action, but I'd be a little anxious too with his hands that close to my neck.

Charles's best line of the night, on why the Hornets should play in Atlanta: "If they combine the Hornets' fans with the Atlanta fans, maybe they'll get a full crowd one night." Doesn't matter what the situation is, you can always count on the Chuckster to be the Chuckster.

Grant Hill just being Grant Hill.

Good job, boys.
S.O.S.

And the Winner Is...

...Not Mark Cuban.

In a move than can only be classified under the "Let's see who laughs last, bitch" category, Michael Finley decided to sign not only with another Western Conference team, but another team in Texas - the Spurs. In the end, Fin rejected the email advances of suns.com and resisted the lure of Shaq on South Beach and decided to go with the team that sent a one-man contingent -- Pop.

But really, who can say no to this face?

Fin will be reunited with another spurned Mav in Nick Van Exel. Ain't vengeance grand?


Speaking of vengeance, I just saw Oldboy and all I can say is Damn! I guess I didn't fully realize what to expect from a movie promising to be a revenge thriller with live octopi and a Korean Gary Oldman, but it was all that and then some. Definitely recommended.

Ladies' Favorite Dime Piece

Look who's on the cover of the latest Dime. The Man himself, Mr. Dwyane Wade. I'll let you know how the article is once I stop drooling over the pictures.

One thing that bothers the hell out of me - yes, just one thing this time :) - is that once we girls get past the Teen Beat/Big Bopper stage, we're marketed to the same way as men - namely, with images of women. Think about it. Men's magazines like Maxim and FHM have covers of Halle Berry, Jessica Alba, etc. Women's magazines like Vogue and InStyle have covers of, yup, Halle Berry, Jessica Alba, etc. Men's Health and GQ use coverboys, like Tom "I hate my golden boy image so I'm going to pose for GQ and Gap" Brady, but we girls still only get other girls for Self and Elle. And if we pick up a Dime or Slam because that's where one finds gorgeous pictures of 1/4-naked men, we have to sift through all the "Dime pieces" and pictures of 3/4-naked girls. No wonder we get so catty - we're sick of being force fed one another.

So that's my spiel of the day. But still, definitely check out the latest Dime. It's hot!

The Mouse that Roared

Damon Stoudamire has temporarily, but officially, dethroned his ol' buddy Rasheed of his Best Mouth crown.

When asked what he thought of Pau Gasol during the Grizzlies' press conference, Mighty Mouse said,

"His initials are PG, but I want him to be rated R."

Finally, a reason to watch the Grizzlies - no offense, Shane. Aside from the potential of Pau morphing into the tongue-wagging, towel-throwing Dirk that emerged during this year's playoffs, the Grizz also got one of the most likable players in the league - Mr. Bobby Jackson.

Can't wait for the season to start!

T'Wolves on the Prowl in Vegas

Am I the only who doesn't think this is a good idea? A bunch of men - very, very rich men - going to Vegas together to "bond." No one else hears the warning bells going off? Going for the summer league is one thing - at least then you're under the auspices of playing and watching basketball.

However, going strictly for the purpose of bonding...

With Kandi-man on your roster...
(Remember the cops playing taser tag with him? The cops won.)

Lawyers, on your mark, get set...

Who knows? Maybe Dwane Casey figures having a little blackmail on all his guys is another way to get them to play together. Maybe I'm just thinking too much like a girl...or as the future wife of Andre Iguodala.

Speaking of Dwane Casey though, let's think of how many more ways we can spell Dwyane!

Day 5: Coffee

But I only had 6 ounces - that's not even a full cup. (I'm sure some of you are scratching your heads right now so here's the lesson of the day from NBA's Finest: 1 cup = 8 ounces.) I couldn't help it. I was starting to look like Jeff Van Gundy, especially around the eyes.

But it wasn't just for vanity's sake that I broke my vow; it was for my sanity as well. Case in point - I needed a yoga mat so I went to the very spiritual, very we-accept-all-people Center for Yoga. I took off my shoes (rules of the center), picked out a mat, and went to pay. That's when things got a little testy. Basically, I nearly impaled the girl at the register with a pack of incense sticks because I thought she was trying to charge me $50 for a $20 yoga mat, when in fact she was charging me $50 for a $50 yoga mat. (It's hard to see with Jeff Van Gundy eyes.) That's not the insane part though. Sadly for me, almost impaling someone and accidentally calling them a "bloodsucking yogi" is all part of my daily, no-coffee routine. The insane part was that I actually bought the $50 mat. $50 for an all natural, earth-friendly, but in the end, piece of rubber. See, this would never have happened if I were in my right mind. In trying to save $3-5 a day, I ended up blowing $50. So that's when I caved and bought my 6 oz of coffee. I figured I better have some before I had to buy anything else out of guilt...or legal action.

That was Sunday. I went all Monday without a single cup, or ounce, or incident. We'll see what tomorrow holds.

Day 4 of No Coffee

So I decided to give up coffee after realizing that the amount I spent on coffee in the past 6 weeks could have bought:

• Floor seats to a Clippers game. Actually a couple Clippers games. Maybe even a Clipper.
  
• A digital camera.
• Half a pair of Manolos.
  

It hasn't been that bad so far...Although I can't say for sure since I have yet to make it through a full day without passing out at my desk (hence, the lack of posts the last 4 days). Starbucks isn't that hard to give up since all I have to do is think of Ray Allen and Danny Fortson, but Coffee Bean's more of a challenge. We'll see how long this lasts.

What About Spoon?

In addition to Michael Finley, Doug Christie, and Brian Grant, another player waived under the NBA's Mariah Carey plan was Clarence Weatherspoon. Ol' Clarence may have only averaged 13.1 minutes, 3.1 points, and 3.1 rebounds, but I'm still gonna miss him on the Rockets. I thought he fit perfectly -- he looked like Clutch, the mascot.

Both are sort of cute and rotund and more for entertainment than actual basketball. But I guess you can't feel too bad for a man being paid $6,353,200 to not do anything. May we all be lucky enough to be that mediocre (or in Mariah's case, that crazy) that people will pay us not to come into work.